My Mom's HGTV Moment
For the past fifteen years, my mom has been imagining her dream kitchen. She envisioned tearing down the wall that separates our family room with the kitchen and putting in a big peninsula, tall crisp white cabinets and glossy black countertops. After hours of HGTV, she had a plan, a vision, and enough knowledge about seams and fixtures to drive any contractor crazy.
This summer, construction started when we went back to Brooklyn after quarantining with my parents for three months. It was scheduled to be an eight week project, but little did we know that when we came back to Buffalo to quarantine with my parents for the second time, construction would still be in full effect.
We came back in September to a big plastic wall separating the downstairs with only a microwave to make all our meals. To say it was challenging to quarantine with your parents, not be able to go anywhere, with construction in full swing, all while not having a kitchen was an understatement. But little by little the kitchen started to come together and my mom’s vision started to come to fruition.
We thought for sure the kitchen would be complete by Thanksgiving. The countertops went in, the living room was painted, and the backsplash was almost complete. But with shipping delays and a miscommunication about how much tile was needed, the project was delayed again into December. It felt like it would go on forever.
But this week, the last of the backsplash was installed and at long last, the kitchen was complete! My mom stood back and quietly admired her work. But unlike an HGTV one hour special, there was no big reveal, no ribbon cutting, no champagne toast. Her success was quiet and understated.
In that moment I thought about how much of life’s big challenges are met with similar energy. How often do we really get to celebrate a big finish with a red carpet and a room full of friends?
These days we are all meeting life with simple quietness but does that mean it's any less meaningful? Whether it’s a more intimate holiday celebration, Zoom wedding shower, or drive-by birthday we are finding different ways to express the joy and connection we feel for those we love. And as the year that tested us all comes to an end, I can’t help but feel grateful for it all. For the questioning, learning, reflection, and the discomfort. For it’s in our stumbling we appreciate the light, the joy, and the simple gratitude of our lives.
And as my mom fills her new kitchen with as many Santas as possible, I’m also grateful for her. For having the kind of parents who didn't hesitate to let us invade her house not once but twice during a global pandemic. I’m grateful for my Dad who drove us back and forth from Buffalo to NYC a total of six times. For being able to witness their incredible love and care for Ginny as grandparents. And for my mom as an essential worker. As the Principal of St. Benedict’s School not a day went by this year that she didn’t think about the safety, happiness, and well being of her students and teachers. I’ve had to watch her rise and fall so many times this year, and despite it all her and my Aunt Holly have continued to find ways to bring joy and Christmas spirit to their students.
As we look ahead into 2021 one thing I know for sure, I’ll have the privilege of getting to learn from my mom and dad all year. As my family starts our new chapter, in our brand new home, just nine blocks away from my parents here in Buffalo.
From my family to yours, I’m sending you all a shower of gratitude and love this holiday season, and I hope whatever you need to celebrate, it finds you.
Also don’t forget to scroll down to see a brand new clip from my new short film Year One about identity, postpartum depression, and my first year of motherhood. Coming to you in 2021.
All my love,
Written by Erin Bagwell
Copy edited by Diana Matthews