I used to lie and tell people I was a “freelancer” because I was embarrassed about being a full-time caregiver.
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Did you know that the Black mothers are 3-5 times more likely to have a maternal death than white women in the United States?
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And even though some days it hurts to be out of the city we love so much, this class makes it feel just a little bit more like home.
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Lately I’ve been sleeping in.
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With Ginny starting to walk we knew the cozy confines of our one bedroom apartment weren’t going to cut it.
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I feel like this past year of being a new parent as been so transitional, and everything feels like it’s hanging on by a thread. But while I was away something unexpected happened, I was able to fully and completely be myself for the first time in 11 months. I ate breakfast at a table. I did my hair and makeup in the morning. I meditated in my hotel room at night.
I was able to breathe.
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Each piece has given me something different and given me a new perspective on how to handle my postpartum depression. Now, not only do I feel like I’m seeing real results, I also feel supported as hell! I have a whole team of people who care about my well-being and want to see me thrive.
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If I’m being totally honest, I’ve always been kind of judgemental about stay at home moms.
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I thought to myself “I better get Perrino back over here to film Ginny again.” Then a light bulb went off.
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Being a mom is boring. Sure it’s exhilarating, full of joy, and just about the scariest thing I’ve ever done in my life. But it’s also full of long lonely days, talking to yourself, and sometimes counting down the minutes until bedtime.
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When I put my arm in to hold her hand or rub her shoulder she screamed louder. When I spoke to her, to try to soothe her, she cried louder. It was clear she needed me and not being able to comfort her made my heart crack wide open. When she cried, I cried.
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