Finding "My One" & Confidence in Morocco
In November I had the incredible opportunity to go to Morocco for the Moon Shot Youth Festival in Casablanca, hosted by the U.S. Embassy in Rabat. In three short days I did two Dream, Girl screenings with Q&As, a crowdfunding panel and a filmmaking workshop.
During one of the events, I heard astronaut Daniel Tani speak about his career and pay tribute to the women on his team that paved the way for him. Alongside the other speakers and scientists I connected with at the festival, I was so inspired by all the young women I met who bravely shared their stories, opening up their hearts about the discrimination they face and the big dreams they plan to chase after university.
This is my favorite part about speaking alongside Dream, Girl- these meaningful conversations that happen after the film. There were two conversations that really resonated with me. The first was meeting Nouhaila who had seen Dream, Girl five times before even knowing I was coming to Morocco!
When she heard I was coming to Casablanca she messaged me on Instagram to share her excitement and when we met in person, she made me cry. You never really know the impact your work will have on someone, and to know how much it meant to her was worth traveling the 18 hours to get there. RuthAnn Harnish once told me that when you are speaking to a group of people you should “come for one” meaning if you affect or touch one person in the room, it's worth being there.
Nouhaila was definitely my “one”.
The second conversation that is still ruminating in my brain came from a young man who wanted to know where my confidence came from. I was really flattered and kind of floored by this question because lately I haven’t been feeling like my grounded, powerful, confident self at all.
I feel like this past year of being a new parent as been so transitional, and everything feels like it’s hanging on by a thread. But while I was away something unexpected happened, I was able to fully and completely be myself for the first time in 11 months. I ate breakfast at a table. I did my hair and makeup in the morning. I meditated in my hotel room at night.
I was able to breathe.
It was an incredible reminder that my sense of self is still in there! The confident and bubbly blonde who isn’t afraid to speak her dreams out loud, walk onto an Apple ad photo shoot like she’s the star, and interrupt Oprah to talk to Ava DuVernay is still in there! She’s just hanging out a minute while I figure out my motherhood shit.
My initial gut reaction to this question was to talk about my mother. My husband and I always blame my mother for my confidence. He jokes it’s her fault I think I can do anything. She’s like a life coach on steroids whose love for her children can at times be overwhelming but I know deep down her confidence in me instilled me with strength. But I felt like that wasn’t a super helpful answer to hear- although if I could bottle MaryAlice’s love I would happily share it.
So I told them I meditated. I told them I was able to look in the mirror and like what I see. I told them I took risks to make myself happy.
But after the panel they asked again. And I told them again- my secret is looking inward.
Our culture is constantly looking outside for validation. Am I doing this right? Does this look good? Will this get me likes? That’s why everyone is depressed when they look on Instagram.
Everyone is doing something and then you feel like you need to be doing that same something, and it makes you feel bad.
The key to confidence is that you can’t get it outside yourself.
Meditate, pray, write, walk, but get on the same page with yourself.
Make sure you are clear on what you are working towards and how you are feeling.
Our culture thrives on the narrative of the busy and ambitious. We #hustleharder and feel pressure to perform and achieve. Listening to this noise everyday can leave us disconnected from what we truly want.
So close your eyes for a few minutes and listen to your body. How do you feel right now? What are you thinking about? Dreaming about? Worried about?
How can you own every inch of where you’re at?
Because sometimes the key to unlocking our confidence is just knowing you’re exactly where you need to be right now. And you never know, you could be someone’s “one” right now.
Xx,
PS- if you’re also wondering where November went and need to start your holiday shopping check out Feminist Wednesdy’s second annual Female-Founder Gift Guide and choose from over 100 gifts made by female-founded companies. All the items on this list were personally recommended to me, and if you’d like to make a suggestion please hit me up and share your favorite female founded products with me!
Written by Erin Bagwell
Copy edited by Diana Matthews